Back-to-School Struggles: When to Wait, When to Help, and When to Consider an Evaluation
A new school year brings fresh notebooks, new teachers, different routines—and sometimes unexpected struggles.
Even children who usually enjoy school may have difficulty getting back into the rhythm. Morning routines begin earlier. Homework returns. Children must sit still longer, follow multi-step directions, organize their belongings, and adjust to new academic and social expectations.
Some back-to-school stress is completely normal. However, when difficulties continue or begin interfering with a child’s learning, behavior, emotional well-being, or confidence, parents may wonder whether something more is going on.
How can you tell the difference between a temporary adjustment and a problem that deserves closer attention?
A mother sits beside her elementary-school-aged daughter at the dining table, offering calm support as the child works through a challenging school assignment. A backpack, notebooks, and pencils reflect the return to school, while the child’s thoughtful expression captures the uncertainty some students experience when learning becomes difficult.
Some Back-to-School Struggles Are Normal
Most children need time to adjust to a new school year. During the first few weeks, you may notice:
Greater tiredness after school
Mild irritability or emotional sensitivity
Complaints about getting up in the morning
Occasional forgetfulness
Nervousness about a new teacher or classroom
Temporary difficulty completing homework
A need for more reminders than usual
Worry about making friends or fitting in
These behaviors do not necessarily mean that a child has a disability or mental health condition. New routines place additional demands on attention, organization, self-control, and emotional regulation. Younger children, in particular, may show their stress through behavior rather than words.
When children gradually become more comfortable, their difficulties usually decrease as routines become familiar.
When the Struggles May Mean More
A child may need additional support when problems are unusually intense, persist beyond the adjustment period, or interfere with daily functioning.
Pay closer attention when a child:
Consistently resists or refuses to attend school
Frequently complains of headaches or stomachaches before school
Has emotional outbursts that are difficult to calm
Requires excessive time or adult assistance to complete homework
Regularly loses assignments, supplies, or personal belongings
Understands material during practice but performs poorly on tests
Reads, writes, or completes math well below expectations
Has difficulty remembering information or following directions
Appears unable to pay attention, even when trying
Falls apart when routines change or work becomes difficult
Becomes increasingly withdrawn, worried, sad, or irritable
Has ongoing problems making or keeping friends
Says things such as “I’m stupid,” “I can’t do anything right,” or “Everyone else is better than me”
A single behavior rarely tells the entire story. What matters is the overall pattern: how often the problem occurs, how long it lasts, where it happens, and how much it affects the child’s life.
Look Beyond Grades
Parents are often told that a child is doing “fine” because the child is passing. Grades are important, but they do not always reveal the amount of effort or distress behind them.
A child may earn acceptable grades while:
Spending several hours on assignments that should take much less time
Depending heavily on a parent to stay organized
Avoiding reading or written work whenever possible
Experiencing significant anxiety about tests
Compensating for attention or learning difficulties through high intelligence
Holding emotions together at school and falling apart at home
Losing sleep because of unfinished work or excessive worry
The question is not simply, “Is my child passing?” A better question is, “What does it take for my child to keep up?”
If school success requires an unsustainable level of effort, stress, or adult support, the child’s needs deserve attention.
Start by Gathering Information
Before assuming the worst, gather information from several sources.
Talk with your child in a calm and curious way. Instead of asking, “Why aren’t you trying?” consider questions such as:
What part of the school day feels hardest?
Is there a class that makes you feel worried or confused?
What happens when you try to start your homework?
Do you understand what the teacher is asking you to do?
Is anything happening with other students that makes school uncomfortable?
What would make the school day easier?
You can also contact the teacher. Ask about your child’s attention, work completion, academic skills, behavior, emotional adjustment, and relationships with classmates. Find out whether the teacher sees the same difficulties that you notice at home.
It can be helpful to keep brief notes for several weeks. Record when problems occur, what seems to trigger them, how long they last, and what helps. Patterns may begin to emerge.
Support Your Child While You Monitor Progress
Children often do better when adults reduce unnecessary demands and make expectations more predictable.
Helpful back-to-school supports may include:
Maintaining consistent bedtime and morning routines
Preparing clothing, backpacks, and lunches the night before
Providing a quiet, uncluttered homework space
Breaking large assignments into smaller steps
Using a visual checklist for daily responsibilities
Allowing a short movement or snack break before homework
Praising effort, persistence, and improvement
Keeping communication with the teacher open
Protecting time for sleep, play, and family connection
These strategies can help many children, whether or not they eventually need an evaluation.
When Should Parents Consider an Evaluation?
An evaluation may be appropriate when difficulties persist despite reasonable support, occur across settings, or significantly affect learning and daily functioning.
Parents might consider an evaluation when they have concerns about:
Attention or executive functioning
Reading, writing, or mathematics
Memory or information processing
Intellectual or developmental functioning
Autism-related characteristics
Anxiety, depression, or emotional regulation
Behavior or impulse control
Adaptive skills and independence
A comprehensive evaluation does more than determine whether a child meets criteria for a diagnosis. When completed carefully, it helps explain how the child learns, where difficulties are occurring, what strengths can be used, and which supports are most likely to help.
The goal is not to place a label on a child. The goal is to understand the child well enough to respond effectively.
You Do Not Have to Wait Until a Child Is Failing
Early support can prevent a manageable difficulty from becoming a larger academic or emotional problem. Children who repeatedly struggle may begin to believe that they are lazy, unintelligent, or incapable—even when none of those things is true.
At the same time, not every difficult week requires formal testing. Some children simply need reassurance, structure, additional instruction, or time to adjust.
Parents do not have to make that decision alone. Teachers, school support teams, pediatricians, mental health professionals, and qualified evaluators can all contribute useful information.
A Final Thought for Parents
You know your child. If something does not feel right, pay attention to that concern—but approach it with curiosity rather than fear.
Watch for patterns. Talk with your child. Communicate with the school. Try practical supports and monitor the response. If the difficulties continue, seek help.
Understanding why a child is struggling is often the first step toward helping that child feel capable again.
Helpful Resources for Parents
The following books and websites offer trustworthy information about learning, attention, emotional adjustment, executive functioning, and school support. Because every child is different, parents should select resources that match their child’s individual needs.
Recommended Books
Smart but Scattered, Second Edition: The Revolutionary Executive Skills Approach to Helping Kids Reach Their Potential by Peg Dawson, Richard Guare, and Colin Guare
Practical strategies for helping children ages 4–13 improve organization, attention, time management, emotional control, and other executive skills.
Paperback ISBN-13: 978-1-4625-5459-1
www.guilford.com/books/Smart-but-ScatteredTaking Charge of ADHD, Fourth Edition: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents by Russell A. Barkley
A comprehensive guide to understanding ADHD, obtaining an accurate diagnosis, supporting school success, and using effective behavior-management strategies.
Paperback ISBN-13: 978-1-4625-4267-3
www.guilford.com/books/Taking-Charge-of-ADHDOvercoming Dyslexia by Sally Shaywitz and Jonathan Shaywitz
An in-depth resource for understanding reading difficulties, recognizing possible dyslexia, obtaining appropriate help, and protecting a struggling reader’s confidence.
Revised hardcover ISBN-13: 978-0-385-35032-7
www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/165314/overcoming-dyslexiaBreaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz
A practical, research-based guide for parents whose children experience anxiety, avoidance, school refusal, or obsessive-compulsive symptoms.
Paperback ISBN-13: 978-0-19-088352-2
global.oup.com/academic/product/breaking-free-of-child-anxiety-and-ocdMake the School System Work for Your Child with Disabilities: Empowering Kids for the Future by Stacey Shubitz
A parent-friendly guide to evaluations, special education, IEPs, 504 Plans, school meetings, and effective collaboration with educators.
Paperback ISBN-13: 978-1-4625-5413-3
www.guilford.com/books/Make-School-System-Work-Your-Child-Disabilities
Helpful Websites
Understood
Free, expert-reviewed information about learning differences, attention, executive functioning, behavior, and communicating with schools.
www.understood.org/en/topics/parentingChild Mind Institute: Back-to-School Resources
Practical guidance for children experiencing school anxiety, learning challenges, difficult transitions, or behavioral concerns.
childmind.org/resources/back-to-schoolHealthyChildren.org
Parent information from the American Academy of Pediatrics about back-to-school routines, homework, health, development, and learning concerns.
www.healthychildren.org/back-to-school-tipsCHADD: ADHD and School—A Toolkit for Parents
Resources for establishing routines, organizing homework, working with teachers, and supporting students with ADHD.
chadd.org/for-parents/adhd-and-school-a-toolkit-for-parentsU.S. Department of Education: IDEA Resources for Parents and Families
Official information about evaluations, special education, Individualized Education Programs, parental rights, and services available under federal law.
sites.ed.gov/idea/parents-families
These resources are provided for general educational purposes. A book or website cannot determine why an individual child is struggling or replace a comprehensive evaluation when one is needed.
Could an Evaluation Help?
The Student Evaluation Center provides comprehensive evaluations for children and adolescents experiencing learning, attention, developmental, behavioral, or emotional difficulties. Evaluations are designed to identify each child’s strengths and needs and provide practical recommendations for home, school, and treatment planning.
To learn more or discuss whether an evaluation may be appropriate for your child, contact the Student Evaluation Center through studentevaluationcenter.com.
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